May 09, 2008
Dump on the Chumps?The question on everyone's mind is "just how many are there?" Helen Keller's "Dump on the Chumps" 45 is rare as hell, at least as found in the wild. But just as with The Meaty Buys 45, years of rarity in the wild could have meant someone out there was sitting on a big stack or box of them all these years. Which seems to be the case with this one. The seller of these was savvy enough not to sell them as a lot but initially to sell them one at a time, and just out of earshot of one another, meaning as the previous listing expired from the database, the next one got put up. This meant the casual shopper couldn't easily search through ebay for the last sold copy.
However, prices plummeted anyways as conjecture pointed to supply, with current prices just hovering north of $300, down significantly from its $1600 peak barely over a year ago. As these records were dumped on the chumps, unwitting buyers who have bought all way way down, a classic case of catching a fallen dagger. An economy case study of supply and demand indeed.
February 13, 2008
QUICK and the DEADAustralia's Quick and the Dead most commonly appear as a a footnote in the history of the English band Skrewdriver, with whom they shared member Murray Holmes. Both were racist Aryan bands, but Quick and the Dead only put out one record, 1981's scorching 5 song 7" EP. Now, some just due is given the band with the release of "Intimidation is Intentional, Another Violent Night" (Coldsweat Records), a 4 disc set that's limited to just 500 copies.
p.s. There is a Coldsweat Records outta L.A., but this is the one from Oz.
February 10, 2007
Imperialist Pigs - Cork Screw Pork Sword EP (Fatal Erection)First met Malcolm C back at a Gilman record swap, 88-ish, where I traded him a Sonics Rendezvous Band 45 for a first press Minor Threat Out of Step black back plus 25 bucks.
One year after the death of Poison Idea guitarist Pig Champion (nee Tom Roberts), Malcom's hardcore record label Fatal Erection rears its engorged head from a very overly long hiatus with it's 12th release being a top shelf dredge from the past - Tom Robert's pre-PI band, The Imperialist Pigs.
Froth-worthy would be describing it lightly. A mere one week after its release, the Imperialist Pigs' Cork Screw Pork Sword 7" EP sold completely out of its 900 press, instantly.
Sources say that a second press will be done with different color labels, some variation of the picture sleeve, and the addition of a sticker, which did not come with the first press. Pretentious asshole record collectors beware!
Side A is in-the-studio blazing breakneck headspin, 3 songs that punch you in the gut with purely fucked imagination. Tom's cranked up guitar skills are immediately apparent, while Eddie Avery's mixed-way-low vocals provide counterpoint. Luckily lyrics are included or you'd miss the precision invectives of hate/rage, as the vocals are spat out from what sounds like a closet or two away. They invade your subconscious.
The B is live, a month after the studio, with special double groove so depending on where you drop the needle, you get a random track. Indecipherable but clearly tortured in best way possible. Both songs great.
Not sure what is next for Fatal Erection but we hope they keep it "up" for awhile.
(While apparently other PI mainmain Jerry A was also part of the Imperialist Pigs at some point, these recordings were done with their earlier vocalist.)
January 01, 2007
Gizmos - Live in Bloomington 1977-1979 2xCD (Gulcher)A two disc set relegating one disc to each major Gizmos incarnation, with Ted Niemiec being the only stalwart. Where and when in the hell could bands like this play their public library? A special time and place it was. Funnily, a pre-megastardombound Johnny Cougar plays into all of this, emceeing the show and even providing vocals on a song. Garage trash thuggery and dollops of self-deprecating humor abound by as many misfits as they could cram on stage. I've long endeared myself to the Gizmos cause but if you want an unbiased opinion, please go out and buy this.
October 13, 2006
Crawlspace - Spirit of '76 (Gulcher)Been a long time since I heard a Crawlspace disc (which was the late 80's release of the "In the Gospel Zone" LP which I can only vaguely recall as being an epic proportioned slab that has permanent residence in my stacks), altho they have prolifically cranked out releases, sometimes insanely limited, that rival Sun Ra or Jandek in the ensuing years. This particular one piqued my interest cos of the Kenne Highland cover art (circa '73) as well as a boss choice of cover songs.
This shambling outfit led by Eddie Flowers (ex-Gizmos, curator of Slippy Town and among rock's most entertaining writers) manages to play in lockstep just long enough to lay down renditions of O. Rex's lo-fi masterpiece "Califawnia Gurls". If you really think they can't play their instruments, they get their shit together and play real tite on "Rat Fink" (originally a B-side to Allan Sherman's "Hello Muddah, Hello Faddah" 45 from 1963). Of the three Crawlspace originals, "Never Never" is the mind blower, plodding noodles of guitar bending with pained warblings, certainly trace inducing detritus. A cover of the Patti Smith version of "Hey Joe" begins with requisite rambling reminiscent of a spittoon.
If you like the Child Mo's` brand of thug rock of that ilk, you'll dig Crawlspace!
October 01, 2006
Dennis Most and the Instigators - You Talkin' To Me?Perhaps the hardest working man in proto-punk, Dennis continues to put out new music as well as obsessively tweek, reissue and sometimes re-record the older stuff. I first came across his back catalog of recordings with Rave Up records' 2001 vinyl only release "Excuse My Spunk", which featured 14 songs from the era. All of those songs + 10 additional songs are available on this 2006 CD reissue on Red Lounge Records on German import. All the recordings are from the original masters and were remastered in 2005. Dennis' perfectionism pays off as this is the penultimate release of his back catalogue in terms of both completeness and sound.
Even though the music is culled from 8 different recording sessions, the remastering job as well as the fact that Dennis is a very consistent songwriter makes this release a cohesive one, tho there are 4 songs that are repeated in original form and then rerecorded in ;83. I'm impartial to the '83 sessions, as the songs are played faster (with the exception of "Tough Break", which is downright dirgey in it's delivery - I prefer the earlier more rockin' version), Check out his website www.dennismostinstigator.com for further lowdown, as Dennis has moved back to Massachusetts to be close to the band, and live shows are being lined up for 2007. This man is unstoppable.
I'm Not Dead Yet!
On the all new recordings front is this currently promo only 10 song CD-R that prove Dennis has plenty of juice left in him. The title track builds on a locomotive riff and Dennis' howling vocals. Then, a real heavy cover of the Groovies' Teenage Head. "Jump In The Sand" is hilarious with its "Watch out for the crabs!" counterpoint. This is one of his most enjoyable releases and hopefully it will get bonified release treatment real soon. Yes, Dennis is very much alive - let's all support him and and the cause! .
September 30, 2006
Hackamore Brick - One Kiss Leads To Another (Mr Nobody)I first heard "Oh, Those Sweet Bananas" on a mixtape from my buddy Yuval in and around 1984 or 5. Apparently, it had been a favorite of Dale Lawrence (Gizmos, Vulgar Boatmen) and Yara Cluver (Panics), folks Yuval had grown up with and had helped cultivate his musical tastes (or at least plant some good seeds in his ear). It was such a great song I immediately had to track it down, and I managed to do so at Gary Sperrazza! (Bomp magazine) record store in Buffalo called Apollo Records in 1985 or so. I may have come across maybe one other copy in my 20+ years of vinylmania.
There were certainly other gems on the record. "Someone You Know" probably was a big influence on Dale Lawrence's post Gizmos career, a soft but powerful strummer, a real great song. But it was definitely "Sweet Bananas" that was the chosen nugget to propagate onto my mixtapes for others.
Got tipped off about this CD reissue on the Mr Nobody label from Agony Shorthand. was planning to ignore it, but had to shell out $17 for a USED copy at Amoeba today, primarily because I realized that "Searchin'", a B-side was included, plus the possibility of some liner notes. Unfortunately, there were no liner notes to speak of. The foldout simply contains a picture of the record's inner label, Sides A and B. But "Searchin'", is definitely worth getting it for. It's a flat out and out rocker, heavier than the LP's tracks.
By the way, here was the mixtape. Hackamore Brick was Side B, 8th track:
September 11, 2006
Part of Little Steven's Underground Garage tour, The Zombies played with Phantom Planet and Woggles the other night.
Phantom Planet is far too self styled and major-label-indie-darling for my tastes, sounding a little Radioheadish which is only OK if you are Radiohead, and they had the gall (disguised as homage) to actually do a Zombies cover right before the Zombies came on. The Woggles were self-aping fun, the lead guy was all over the place, and as much as I'd heard raves about them, this was my first time seeing them. Entertaining if not particularly memorable.
The Zombies were elegant, classy and soaring. Insanely and inanely, I had only gained familiarity with their classic "Odyssey and Oracle" just prior to the show, tho friends-pundits had been expounding them for years to my stretched ears. I had always imagined them as probable lightweights, but that album immediately grabbed me as a timeless cornerstone of Left Banke / Big Star triage. Blunstone's vocals were bright and on the mark, Argent's keyboard chops and song stylings were deft. They did do Argent's 70's hit "Hold Your Head Up" replete with the swirling pre/post ELP keyboard gratuitousness that was a bit out of place. The crowd was appreciative as was I.
The Garage was a bit corporate, but the nice thing was getting coupons for $1 Rolling Rocks through part of the night. A worthy project by Little Steven.
September 01, 2006
I bought Radio Birdman's Radios Appear LP from one of those black guys on the street in NYC selling random batches of cutouts...this was in the early 80's, probably '82. I filed it as a coulda-shoulda-been-a-contender, the victim of a castrated mix. Great songs, guitars way too low, shoulda been a howler. Hell, I was 20, what the fuck did I know. At least I had the goddamn record in my stacks.
In the latter 80's when WEA Australia put out the Radio Birdman Box Set (which we carried at Blacklist, the MRR related non-profit distributor for whom I volunteered) I was able to partake in the rest of their catalogue, particularly becoming enamored with the Burn My Eye EP, which appeared in 12" form in the box. A near perfect 4 track EP, with "Snake" making the cut most often on my angst ridden mixtapemaking obsessions.
It wasn't until Sub Pop's unlikely issue of their compiled greatest hits a few years back with perhaps a better mix (or was it my turntable needle all along ???) that led me to become a Birdman disciple able to sing the praises of the Radios Appear LP.
At this year's earlier Flesheaters reunion gig, Roehrs said it's only worth going out to shows 2 or 3 times a year now. Well, we both ended up at the Radio Birdman reunion gig on thursday. Two simultaneous orgasms down, maybe one more to go for the year (could the third be the upcoming Slits gig?)
Radio Birdman was playing on U.S. soil (which they never actually did to support their U.S. Sire records release) at last. Their second gig, the first being in LA the night before. After loading up on large hunks of meat at nearby Tommy's Joint (der Hof-brau institution), the aging fanboys loaded up our guts and hauled them over to the Great American Music Hall.
Nevermind that I'd have to suffer through opening band The Sermon again. The Great American Music Hall is notorious for putting on strange bills...Carmaig De Forest opening for Television was a joke, while Faun Fables opening for Slint was nothing less than infuriating. Fortunately, we spent our time walking around the block a few times while The Sermon delivered, but felt obligated to check out The Black Furies simply because it got real cold outside! The Furies on headphones might come off as a passable second rate MC5, but live they needed to be scolded for the most laughable stage patter I've ever heard. "We're on MySpace, we're on iTunes...we are ALL OVER THE FUCKIN' Internet" declares the lead frat boy singer...and what's scary is HE MEANS IT....MAN. Maybe this was a warmup for the CMJ convention or something. The bamalama quotient of Frat Boy coupled with the Wayne's World guitarist had many-a-roarin' in the stands.
But this is now all in retrospect, because the present and the near present was all preoccupied with the presence of RB. Somehow I was a few rows back of front and center but the initial mosh transported me straight into Chris Masuak's line of sweatfire...his Marshall Stack pummelling me with riffs peeled off effortlessly by the man behind the cool shades. Rob Younger was just to the right and front of me, looking a bit frail yet roaring couplets with mastery. Deniz Tek on the far right. Despite their new record in tow, they played mostly the oldies, with the fastest "Burn My Eye" I'd ever heard. As the "Yeah Hups" out of the audience started to grow and grow, they did do "New Race" too. Coulda done without the cover of "Search and Destroy", especially since their own material was so strong, but man, this was as close to the sun as I'm gonna fly this year, 4 more months pending regardless.
July 10, 2006
The Maggots - Let's Get Tammy Wynette 7" (Discourage Records 2006)The Maggots 45 was another early Forced Exposure want list item...of course the mere name and title conjured up le punk roque je ne sais quoi. I found my copy (#43 out of 400 as writ on the back) for a mere $4 from a local college DJ that was known for his surf show on KFJC...this was probably '86 or so, mind you, so nobody was really the wiser. Although it missed a tiny little chunk of the picture sleeve on the front (just to the right of "Wynette" in the picture), I somehow never felt any obligation to upgrade it from the one I found (or to hunt for the mega rare little plastic/rubber "pet maggot" that some came with). The sleeve alone was worth the price, probably as close to the quintessential punk rock picture sleeve as you could possibly get. When I brought it home, I was immediately charmed by Vicky Berndt's sing-it-shout-it vocals, the backing siren, the brittle sound...funny lyrics, definitely a novelty but incredibly arch and creative. I quickly slid it into a heavy 4 mil plastic sleeve and hid it into the safe confines of a dark corrugated 45 box. Pathologies run deep.
A decade or so later I found myself hanging out in Discourage Records founder Abe King's apartment in North Beach San Francisco, where Abe and I got real loopy on something and then listened to punk rock hyper-rarities.... AND I got my first chance to touch a real vintage "pet maggot". Abe had befriended Ms Weems, the meistermind behind the band and the concept. Little did I know of the labor of love that was to follow...fast forward to 2006.
A mere 20 years after I first encountered the rec, the Discourage gents have unleashed a class A++ reissue, or should I say TWO. Naturally I needed BOTH versions, their super limited version (hand numbered and with a crazy mock obi-strip crawing with with Maggot photos, and on clear vinyl), and their "stock" copy which is totally essential because it faithfully reproduces the original picture sleeve (I mean, THE ORIGINAL as in the original paste up sleeve from which all the first generation picture sleeves were reproduced FROM).
This you can tell because of the hostage lettering of "the maggots" were actually rubber cemented on the orignal paste up, which is reproduced here in all of its glory on this picture sleeve, that you can't see on the original stock picture sleeve (as shown at the top of this post)
While the pet maggot didn't make the cut (makes for tough filing anyways), the original booklet that came with the pet IS part of the package, and damned if these aesthetes done a bang up job on it. Read it and you'll see what little geniuses these wiggle teens were with their clever hyperbolic tendencies.
Also included is the demo of Tammy Wynette. I like how the aesthetes at Discourage finagled the back of the sleeve to accommodate it. On the right is my original copy.
:
Re-mastering? I mean, noticably? I can't really tell and I wouldn't want it any other way. The thing should and does sound like a little piece of plastic spinning out of control, squeezing out sparks and barking like a chihauhua. As it should be. This is sheer wow and now you can touch it again.
April 06, 2006
Flesheaters at Slim's, San Francisco
Old age is such that I probably woulda not gone to this show if it had rained for the nth day in a row (and there's been a record n-1 here in californy), but fortunately, it didn't. As Roehrs noted, us guys only make it to two or three shows a years nowadays...
Then again, the Flesheaters were only playing four gigs, this being the first and the last to be at All Tomorrow's Party in the UK, and I never had the privilege of seeing them in any form other than their post, as the Divine Horsemen back in '85 at the Club Lingerie (with the Cruzados and the Leaving Trains). Not to mention this being their all star lineup with John Doe and DJ Bonebrake of X, Dave Alvin and Bill Batemen from the Blasters, and Steve Berlin of Los Lobos. Of an ever rotating lineup over many years with Chris D being the only constant, this particular one was not only the most star-laden one, but the one that spewed out their most inspired moment, the magnum opus "A Minute to Pray A Second To Die". Their second LP too full advantage of the awesome musical chops the band had to offer and evolved from the abbreviated staccato punk of "No Questions Asked" to extended, conjuring even more vivid imagery
Chris D's throat was as ripped as ever, starting a bit shaky but steadily gaining assuredness through the show. The band has pretty much been playing music throughout the period so they were actually pretty tight. DJ is an AMAZING xylophonist, as I had only previously witnessed on X's Unheard Music movie. A highlight was "Divine Horsemen", which closed the set, their groove in full stride, before their encores...a cover of the Gun Club's She's Like Heroin To Me (by the way, Chris D is rumored to have been quite a junkie in his time), and the Sonic's Cinderella
Nota Bene: Chris reminded us that A Minute To Pray A Second To Die (on CD) is now outta print as of last year.
December 11, 2005
The concept really doesnt seem particularly good, but damned if it's inexplicable charm is sorta irresistable (yet not honorary of a so bad it's good designation) of Angel Corpus Christi strikes again. "12 songs by for and about Lou Reed" and the charm oozes outta the seams. Luminaries Dean Wareham (Galaxie 500, Luna) and Sonic Boom (Spacemen 3) provide part of the vibe. Maybe it's her phrasing - she's got the cozy Laurie Anderson thing pinned but with a little more feeling. Maybe it's that and the touches of Rich Stim, Angel's husband and ex-MX-80 Sound. Every song has a "Da Da Da" lope to it that has a calming effect. But you can feel the earnest admiration Angel has for Lou, it does shine thru, even when she derides his hair ("Why don't you shave it all off and start from zero"). 
Hard to believe this was recorded just a few years ago (2000-2002 to be exact), and even harder to believe this picture could be from any recent decade. Lou Rone's a bit of a mystery, about as fringe as his jacket, tho it's known he had some involvement with the no waver Von Lmo. This is an all instrumental blend of spack rock, synth, polyrhythmic and largely unengaging drivel. Drug addled in the worst sense (most likely pot), or possibly just misguided vague Santana worship without the chops. Or am I just clued out? I mean things start out promising with "Transistor" which is a flatulation of hard space rock guitar over a mean beat, the kind of shit that takes you places. But then some MOR undertones kick in on the next song and never let go. Not even the occasional indendiary lick, which does indeed worm it's way in here or there, can shake it from it's creeping malaise.(Gulcher Records)
December 10, 2005
Apocalipstick, the SF-based obnoxio sex camp trash purveyors who we covered back in a previous column, has re-"christened" (as if anything about them could ever be described in bliblical terms) themselves The SeX Rays. While key wordsmith and front woman/dominatrix Jackie O Nasstie has left the band, they are now bolstered by a trio of new sirens. Star Varga offers most of the new lead vocals, while Serena Toxicat (apparently an ex-Suicide Girl), and Barb Wire (ex Punk Rock Orchestra) add to the mix and fill in additional leads. It's obvious that the band is the vision of guitarist and singer KC/DC, and tho the band name and some of the players have changed, the core sound remains.
Hedwig comes to mind in terms of their theatrical campy trashy arrangements, but The Sex Rays are lacking any of the heartfelt innocence and uplift - it's all rather twisted and brooding and sinister, yet tongue in cheek at the same time. In fact none of the new lead singers are really hardly "rawk", but instead are obviously from theatrical/operatic backgrounds. This lends to a rather unique sound. The reworkings of previous Apocalipstick songs are better: "Lick" and "Whoop-Ti-Do!" are less maniacal without Jackie's vocals, but they come off as harder rocking more cohesive songs. "Can't Find My Boots" is a cool reworking of Nancy Sinatra's "These Boots Were Made for Walking" that speeds up punkly and then crashes and burns in a miasma of vocal strangulation. A powerful and entertaining band that deserves to be heard.
Given that Jackie O wrote most of the delicious lyrics to these songs, it will be interesting to hear what they come up with nex. In the meantime, contact them at The Sex Rays: POB 590144, SF, CA, 94159. Their website appears to be down (www.thesexrays.com).
November 23, 2005
Back In Saddle...and Out Through The In-Box
With some wounds finally licked and upcoming time to kill, I thought I'd get back in the saddle and ride my way thru the stack of stuff that's been neglected in the in-box. No longer being tied to a monthly regimen in regards to submissions (since this blog is no longer tethered by the whipping goys of MRR), hopefully I can acclimate to posting on a less regular yet more frequent basis.
While my lovely parents, who are staying with me for the last couple and next few months were watching Chinese female body builders on cable, I began thumbing thru some of the stack. Amidst their oohs and ahs, I soaked in some of the vinyl gestalt that lay before me.
Top of the heap sat a couple of 45's from a very fine label, Plastic Idol Records, run by an even finer guy, Mario Solis. First of all, he's outdone himself in the packaging department because PIR-004 and PIR-005 are cookin' lookin' things. (The fact that there are only 500 of 'em make'em even look better, heh heh...) The Minds 45 is hot pink, with red hot vinyl, and splattered with bits of brains everywhere, on the front, on the back, in every band member's name, and even in one of their songs! The Dissimilars 7" on the other hand is on deep blue vinyl and introduce a fledgling attempt at an actual logo for the label, a cool skull'ncrossbones !? Yes, at Plastic Idol it is always all about the bands, but now that they've got a string of winners under their cap, it's about time they got to promoting the label too, cos people ought to be trained to pick up everything on the label. This recent pair cements that advice.
My dad was kind enough to turn down the television volume and let me play the A-side of The Minds, "We Got The Pop". The lo-fi production values immediately hooked me, since pop punk has gotten so overproduced, largely due to the major label bid. This garageyness is the way it should be, but it's been all too lacking lately. By the time it was over, my parents retreated to the kitchen to eat ice cream, usually the sign that the music is rippin' good, so I cranked it up (I have a soundproofed music room care of Charles Salter Associates, a preeminent acoustics firm here in the Bay Area). Yeah, the A-side is pretty good pop-punk, with the snotty vocals and buzzing keyboards adding an edge. The B-side sounded even better. "Brain That Wouldn't Die" skittled along the lines of The Dickies, with whom I'd been in worship mode lately. And finally, who can fault them for their choice of cover of the excellent Beantown band La Peste, whose "Don't Wanna Die In My Sleep Tonite" I hadn't heard since it had been reissued on CD a decade ago, they choose to close with. It's a much more raucous sped up version than the original, which naturally does it the right justice. Afterwards I ended up listening to the two versions of the song on the La Peste CD and theirs ranked up their with the live La Peste version. Perty good sheeyut.
The Dissimilars 45 comes with a lyric sheet. I'm not a lyrics guy, but after half of the A-side "Landmine" played through, I found myself reaching for that sheet, cos I couldn't remotely understand anything the guy was singing. And then when I read the lyrics I couldnt figure out which words went with which lyrics. But did it matter? Hardly, cos count me gripped in the most visely way. Scorching vocals and phrasing that is used as a blunt instrument. This is one of my favorite 45's of the year. While "Landmine" nears upon iconic in its "Touch Me I'm Sick" reminiscent grunge stylings, I like the flip side even more - "Turn Me Loose" is my set on repeat for the time being with its vocal madness, while "Pills" is just a fucking awesome. punk song. Slightly non-organic-beyond-punkness vibe that makes this lovingly fucked beyond reproach.
November 02, 2005
Inga Vainshtein
I sat next to Inga Vainshtein in an Engineering Management Information Systems course, 1982 or 3. Not yr typical Engineering type, especially in a school whose ratio was already practically 2 (guys) for every gal. She was hot in an overtly heavily mascara-ed, Nico/jaded look, accented by stringy hair. Less teutonic than Nico tho, instead, an obvious eastern european thing going.
Some 15 years later, I saw her in the news. She was sueing neo folkie Jewel for unceremoniously dumping her as manager, and replacing her with Jewel's mother. Apparently a pretty big lawsuit because news of that continues to dominate any web searches done on Inga.
I hardly remember the class at all, other than her presence. She wore sort of dirty striped pants, kinda trashy looking. We never talked all semester, except just once. I looked over at her and she looked at me, and I embarrassedly tried to look away by staring up into her hair. I saw a bug in it. I bypassed all my inhibitions and blurted out :
"There's a bug in your hair"That was the one and only time we ever talked. She dated Stona Fitch, the editor of the school newspaper, who later played with the indie band Scruffy the Cat with some of the ex-Young Fresh Fellows. Note to self: this could be a good degree of separation trivia question
"Eeewww", she replied. She lowered her head , her wonderfully stringy hair glistened toward me.
"Can you pick it out ?", she asked..
"OK". I reached out and got what appeared to be a small beetle between my fingers out from between her hair. It was a little greasy. She lifted her head back up and I showed her the bug.
"Thanks", she said.
"No problem", I said.
October 09, 2005
FUCK ME IM LOIS
Tall Texas Tales of Superman’s Girlfriend
by Erin Arthur
edited by Henry
Erin Arthur (nee Erin Humphrys) was an original Texas punk and one of the lead singers for Dallas punk band Superman’s Girlfriend. This was an attempted autobiography I worked on with Erin back in 2001 or so. It was nigh impossible to capture all of Erin's adventures and find a way to tell them in chronology. This is the closest I was ever able to get. Please send on any corrections or omissions. Erin is a true original. She is an avowed internet junkie and webmistress of her cool site: http://TexasPunkJunk.homestead.com/OHLOISWELCOME.html - Henry.
It was ‘77/’78. I had been going to this bar in Dallas called Mother Blues ‘cos it stayed open till 5 in the morning. It was there I met this long haired guy wearing a pink plastic dry cleaning bag for a shirt! He was telling me about his band The Dot Vaeth Group, and telling me about punk .I listened eagerly ‘cos god, I was so bored with the 70's music and scene. His name was Pat Conley.
Anyways, Pat invited me out to his trailer in Azle, Texas to hear them practice. A few days later I got my friends and off we went to hear this punk band. They did The Ramones’ "Blitzkrieg Bop", then the Sex Pistols. I was hooked. I knew from then on it was PUNK for me!
The Dot Vaeth Group was Jim Nabors, David Townsend, James Flory, Pat Conley, and Doug Townsend. They had this friend Bryce Parker, who had a house in Hurst where we use to go drink listen to records and hang out. Bryce talked his sister into helping him finance a recording studio, which ended up in downtown Dallas. He named it "E.S.R".
We all went to see The Sex Pistols show at The Longhorn Ballroom in Dallas. Nervebreakers were supporting and for anyone who does not know, it was Bryce who threw that stanky raw fish up on stage and Barry Kooda (Nervebreakers, Barry Kooda Combo, Yeah Yeah Yeah, Punk Rock Dinosaurs) proceeded to gnaw on it like it was a tasty treat. The photo made it into Rolling Stone Magazine. (Barry has a great Sid story but I will let him tell it to you if he wants - barrykooda@barrykooda.com).
The “E.S.R” days were the best! We would hang out, drink, jam and just have fun! So in 1979 we were messing around. Jim ad libbed something about Lois Lane, and I screeched out, “Fuck me I'm Lois”! Superman's Girlfriend was born.
The first Superman's Girlfriend line up was: James Flory (bass), David Townsend (guitar), Doug Townsend (drums), Jim Nabors (vocals), and yours truly Erin Humphreys (vocals). We would play around Dallas, then Austin and Houston. We usually played DJ’s, Gertie’s, Magnolia’s, Lou Ann’s and a few other places around town.
Erin at Magnolia's in Dallas
(copyright Erin Arthur)
DJ’s New Wave Cafe
But we loved DJ’s most because it was strictly punk. It was all ours, and you know punks like to break stuff and fight! There was a clothing store next door called Electricity. They wanted to have a grand opening with a live band but they didn’t have enough room for a band to set up.
That’s when Dolores Nolly entered the picture and started DJ’s. I got the feeling the neighborhood pub was dead till the punks showed up.
Erin and Jim Nabors at DJ's New Wave Cafe in Dallas
(copyright Erin Arthur)
The Dot Vaeth Group played and Dolores was hooked I am sure she saw dollar signs too! So in 1979, DJ's New Wave Cafe on Greenville Ave. in Dallas was born. If those walls could talk! There were lots of characters. I remember one night Superman's Girlfriend was playing and Bobby Soxx (who would later form Stickmen With Rayguns) wanted to get up and sing a song, so we said ok. It must have been a Vomit Pigs song or something. Well he had taken a bunch of Quaaludes and when the song was done he would not get off the stage. The guys in the band finally had to drag him off kicking and screaming!
Superman's Girlfriend performs “Jesus Saves” at DJ's New Wave Cafe, Dallas 1979
(Copyright Erin Arthur)
There were only a few bands in the beginning: Nervebreakers, Vomit Pigs, Toys, and The Dot Vaeth Group. After DJ's opened, the whole scene just blossomed. Our pal Don Gray found a fourplex to live in, which became our after-hours new wave party palace. Eventually, the whole building was occupied by punks. It was called Bryan Parkway. It was there we met three kids who stuck to the scene and to us like glue.
Shit Cherie (VDegenerates), Sharon and Danny Flame.were outrageous, loud, and obnoxious. They’d do anything to get to hang around. Sharon and Cherie were eventually immortalized in the Butthole Surfers’ song “Pepper” off Electriclarryland. Cherie and I had a love/hate relationship. We would get into fights everywhere, scrappers! I called her my mortal enemy.
Eventually, Cherie had done something at DJ's: either broke something or Dolores had found out how old she was, I don’t quite remember. So we were all at the club, but everyone started talking and looking on the front stoop careful not to step in it and we were just dying laughing...well, Cherie had gotten pissed off and dumped some shit on the stoop I heard it was human but really did not look that close, so maybe hence the name "Shit Cherie" hahaha ! Oh yeah, they had two friends that deserve a mention too: Pogo (Kim Wolfe) and Elisha Reneau. Elisha got mad at Pogo one night and whacked him on the head with a cast iron skillet! He went to the hospital with a concussion! Cherie is dead now.
Aside from the VDegenerates, Shit Cherie shared a makeshift band with me called The Cut Rate Toxins. It also included Valerie Bowles (bass), John Lacey (guitar), Chris Williams (guitar) and Dan Burton (drums).
The Cut Rate Toxins, at the Metamorphosis Concert Hall supporting Deprogrammer.
It was the only time I ever shared a stage with Shit Cherie (shown singing)!
(Copyright Erin Arthur)
In 1980, Val and I moved to Oak Cliff to Will’s house (Telefones, Red Tapes) and we started messing around with the very experimental Red Tapes. This is when the song “God Reasons'” was done. This was released posthumously on the Tales From The Edge 5 & 6 double CD by George Gimarc, the local DJ from The [radio station] Edge, in 1992. The Red Tapes were Jack Crow, James Flory III, David Price, Will Clay, yours truly Erin Humphreys, and Valerie Bowles. Paul Quigg was in the early version of this band in ‘79.
We all did a lot of LSD and made some strange but what we considered good music. We called it our religious experience, HA ! We had an 8 track reel to reel in the basement of the house among synthesizers and other music making devices. We spent most of our waking hours recording and experimenting. In 1981 or so, Val and I moved to the Hodge Lodge.
I remember moving in with Val in her apartment and we headed down to VVV, the local record store owned by NCM's bassist Neil Caldwell. There was a record release party for this band from Manchester, England, The Fall. We went to their show at The Hot Klub afterwards. Michael Ritchy offered up his mom and dad’s house for the Party. So we all showed up and the party was on. While the parents were upstairs asleep, we all did some crank, shot pool, listened to music, lit every candle in the house, had snacks and lots of conversation until about 7 in the morning when his parents threw us all out.
Well, Val and I had made some new friends and we wanted to party some more, but they had to go on to Chicago. We had this friend Karen and she offered up the money to buy 2 plane tickets back to Dallas from Chicago. So we took her up on it. So drummer Karl Burns and Road manager Grant Showbiz were on their way back to Dallas. They wanted to see the lake so we did that, played lots of Defender at 7-11, ate lots of toast ‘cos we didn’t have much money, did some crank and had lots of bedroom fun! The day they were to go back a cop pulled us over on the way to the Consulate and we explained they had no time. He let us go so they barely got to the airport in time. We said our goodbyes and that was another mark in memory. The popular records we played over and over again during this time were Killing Joke, The Furs, The Go-Go's, and The Cure. But The Furs got played the most while our visitors were in Dallas. Cheers to Karl & Grant: The Fall Tour of America 1981.
The Hot Klub
By ‘81/’82 there were quite a few clubs to play by this time in Dallas, Houston, Austin and Fort Worth. Life was GOOD and we were having a blast! The Hot Klub got going good. Good enough to book bands like Iggy Pop, Siouxsie and The Banshees, The Stranglers, Richard Hell, The Stray Cats, Adam Ant. Our bands made pretty good money too, plus we got our drinks free and we got into the big shows free so it was a sweet deal. Unfortunately, DJ's kinda fizzled out...well, we all know there ain't no honor amongst punks!
Superman's Girlfriend at the Hot Klub in Dallas.
(Copyright Erin Arthur)
The Hot Klub would be where Superman’s Girlfriend played their last gig. The lineup at this time was the same minus David Townsend and plus Paul Quigg. Well I had been girlfriend of our drummer for a few years by now and the band was getting sour and so was Doug! Our last gig was in ‘80 I think and that night there was this party and there I met this guitar player who would later be in NCM, David Hill.
Unfortunately, I met Heroin too. That was a long trip and the only way was down, but we all did it (been clean now for 9 years)!
There was this house in the same neighborhood as The Hot Klub and they dubbed “Bachelor Hell”. But my friend Valerie Bowles (Teenage Queers) and I needed a place to live. So we talked Jerry Hodge, the guy that owned the house into letting us move in, against the majority vote of the men already living there. Suzi Mustang (Cringe) came later and we all had a room and that stereo blared 24/7, Bobby Soxx lived there and would play that Flipper’s “Sex Bomb” over and over and there was not a little stereo in that house it was a fuckin’ PA system! We renamed “Bachelor Hell” to "The Hodge Lodge".
We had great parties. There was this really drunk girl there one night and she left her purse by the back door. Bobby swooped in like a vulture and got cash and her camera ... then the rest of us finished it off. I am sorry to say but we were relentless and unless you were one of us, you were walking into dangerous territory. Especially if you were rich and wanting to be a punk! Eventually the house was sold, me and Bobby were there till the last he had plugged into the condo next door for electricity...but a few nights before all the guys took sledgehammers to the walls the staircase, now that was loud I carried my stuff down what was left of the stairs and got in my 68 Cadillac that barely ran and drove away then for a brief stay at my moms.
Summer of 1982, Austin, Texas
After a very brief stint at my moms, I decided to head to Austin. She gave meenough money for a bus ticket and off I went. Richard and Angel, who I’d met on their visit to the Red Tapes house, met me at the bus station and let me stay at their apartment. Richard was managing Jerry’s Kids, who were Brett Bradford, Steve Sonleitner, Rey Washam, Chris Wing (Sharon Tates Baby) and Bryan Finger. Brett and Rey would later form Scratch Acid with David Yow. So we got in all their gigs for free.
Every night we would head down to Sixth Street. There were great shows. Black Flag at the Ritz Theatre. Everyone played Austin. I saw The Clash with Stevie Ray Vaughn supporting them. I met this guy named Mike (played bass for ?), down on the street. He looked like Sid Vicious. He asked me if I wanted to be his girlfriend. For lack of anything better to do I said “Yea Sure”. Well I was in the process of moving into this house for the summer that had been rented for the college kids in the fall. So Mike took me back to the apartment where Angel accused me of fucking Richard (which I did not, by the way!) I was stoned and not in the mood for a fight so we just got my shit and left. I never saw Mike again after that, heh heh. Guess it was a bit much (or he thought I was a puss) for the Sid lookalike.
The Fear record had come out and we loved it. Richard and I made shirts with stencils and spray paint and blasted that record constantly. Well I got moved into the house and we had our own rooms and air conditioning too. Val came for a stay and never left she is still in Austin! Brett Bradford and his girl Karen (the college student), Steve Anderson, Valerie Bowles, me and Mark lived in the house.
David Yow (Toxic Shock, Jesus Lizard, Scratch Acid) was a regular. He and I got on great. In the meantime I had put out flyers to sing in a band. I wanted to be in a hardcore band 'cos that was the big thing at the time .But my reputation of being a bitch to work with preceded me I am sure, so no luck! Whaaaa! Jammed a bit at Gary Gutheries house but never a solid thing! Usually, it was Val, Mark and Gary and I in his garage we would do Joy Division type stuff.
The very best show ever was at ClubFoot: Killing Joke, July 1982, The club was hot and sweltering, packed upstairs and down. Gary's band Talmadge D'Amour was supporting which was strange cause they were a synth band...well when Killing Joke came on they were fuckin great you could feel the building shaking, the floor in front of the stage was full up with punks, skins, you name it: all in a mass frenzy of slamming and stage diving! The club owner decided to pull the plug for some reason and that crowd went absolutely apeshit. IT WAS GREAT! Well they plugged the band back in cause they were gonna sustain more damage to their club if they didn't!
Anyway, the summer was coming to an end and it was time to head back to Dallas. In '82-'83, I moved into Jon Lacey's (The Beautiful,Punk Rock Dinosaurs..2001).
Then, I got a job. Ahhhh !
Erin back in Dallas, at Jon Lacy's 1982.
(Copyright Erin Arthur)
The Mid-80’s, Dallas
The Twilite Room, Studio D,& Theater Gallery times were really great. I had landed a job as barkeep working for Charlie Guilder in ‘85 I think, at Charlies Liberty Hall, later The Twilite Room / Circle A Ranch. Saw some great shows there: UK Subs, The Exploited, Johnny Thunders, Butthole Surfers, TSOL, Tex & The Horseheads, Circle Jerks, & Fang when they were babies, to name a few.At Theater Gallery, saw Meat Puppets, Red Hot Chili Peppers, Scratch Acid.
Studio D hosted The Misfits where me and my friend Terry Jo came home with autographed LP, 45 & T shirts ‘cos she flashed em her tits! Stickmen With Rayguns were supporting a lot of these acts by this time and making a name for themselves.
Erin with pet
(copyright Erin Arthur)
Casualties:
Will Clay (Superman’s Girlfriend, Telefones) – Heroin Overdose
Discography:
7”:
Vomit Pigs/Superman’s Girlfriend split EP (EV 04) 1992 (500 on red vinyl)
Unquestionably Late For The Trend Compilation EP (EV12) (1012 press, 162 on green vinyl)
LP:
Are We Too Late For The Trend? Compilation LP (ESR)
Cassette:
Steel Rok Presents Compilation (1983)
CD:
as Red Tapes on Tales From The Edge 5 & 6 Compilation (1992)
Unreleased Recordings:
Backing vocals on “Hitler’s Come Back” with Bobby Soxx
October 04, 2005
Video Killed The Radio Star But Who Killed Marilyn?Samhain Live 1984 DVD
Seldom found live video of Samhain, circa post-Initium, at the Stardust Ballroom, which despite the name was hardly a swank setup, as you can see from the stained ceiling tiles. Rather brightly lit for a goth-metal-punk set, but maybe that's to help out Al Flipside who did the videotaping on what was then probably pretty expensive equipment for the amateur videographer, for whom we must all be indebted. Danzig's in fine form as the always gripping front man as he rips through much of Initium, a few Misfits tunes (Die Die, Halloween II, Horror Biz); "Unholy Passion" is introduced as a "song about fucking", and "Arch Angel" features extra rare guitar playing by Danzig. You might wonder why Samhain was not playing huge stadiums by then, but them's were the times. Raw and therefore pure, it's a must for any ancient Misfits or Samhain fan, while those brought up in the digital age might stick with Danzig.
October 01, 2005
Dennis is an original, as in being a navigator of those treacherous musical waters while punk was just an undertow and the hardy few clung to their Creem magazines and Stooges records while trying to find their way. AudioLove was his prototype for the better known Instigators (because of their "prodigious" output of 2 whole 45's back in the day - hey, they were no one hit wonder). After having already gotten a good whiff of the band on the Dennis' official unearthing last year on Captain Trip's archival release of "Live at the El Cid, December 1976", I was real excited to get this DVD-R from Dennis to see what AudioLove really looked like.
First, it's from a slightly earlier performance than the El Cid, this being from October '76 at Xaverian Brothers High School in Westwood Massachusetts. It's shot pretty well, in black and white, on at least a couple cameras, maybe as many as 4, replete with guitar solo closeups. Dunno who did the editing, whether it was done at the time or recently, but it's good.
6 songs in totem, 4 of 'em covers. Their influences were like a hipster's who's who going back way back when: Question Mark and The Mysterians, Troggs, Stooges, early Floyd. Hip and well read, these thuggish looking leather jacketed guys were historians while making history. They embraced hard rock as proper proto-punkers did, unafraid of guitar solos or facial hair. No doubt every kid went home that night compelled to form his own band.
Postscript:
Thankfully, Dennis is still doing it. And during the last couple of years, along with mining his past for golden ephemera like this, he continues to forge ahead with his musical career and an undying enthusiasm and verve. I feel real lucky to know him.
http://www.dennismostinstigator.com
September 01, 2005
PUNK PROFILE Series
JAMES WOOD
As lived (and recounted ramblingly) by Saint James Wood
edited moons ago by Henry
James Wood is the man behind the “Joe Producer” moniker on the 45’s he put out on his legendary San Diego San Diego
Formative Years
I was born on a small island in
It was in the 3rd grade that I first got interested in rock and roll. I found a copy of Elvis's “Hound Dog” at a thrift store and I loved that damn thing. I knew early on that a white man could sing any damn music he wanted. Also found “Hanky Panky” by Tommy James, “Psychotic Reaction” by Count Five and “Talk Talk” by Music Machine. Also liked Fever Tree, Ultimate Spinach and all those wacked psychedelic bands. That was one hell of a thrift store.
Besides that it was all about rockabilly and blues for me the first 10 years or so. If you think about it there's a lot of similarity in punk and blues: 2 or 3 chords and a lot of emotion and you don't have to be a damned genius to play it. And people seem to obsess over both forms; blues and punk people are the most obsessive fans that there are. That's me.
The first show I saw was Canned Heat, some crazy psychedelic band called Smokestack Lightnin', and Fever Tree.
Proto-Punk
"All Dogs Head For the Hills! It's the EAT YOUR DOG BAND!”
Another flyer that had a picture of a toaster and ...well you get the idea; it was cool. Had to change our name to the Honolulu Doggs for marketing purposes. There was just a bunch of crap around except for us. I mean the next best band was called Sugar Bear.
The Eat Your Dog Band had one moment of glory. Somehow we got a gig at this huge arena where we opened up for John Mayall and Cheech and Chong. I was only about 17, we were scared to death and sounded like shit. The reviewer said we were cacophonous at a time when cacophony wasn't in vogue, so we were crushed.
The Honolulu Doggs were a big deal and we played with all kinds of famous people like Peter Frampton and KISS and Foghat and Elvin Bishop and Savoy Brown. The only reason we got the gigs was because there wasn't anybody else that was any good. We were pretty loud and fast when we wanted to be though we also played a lot of blues. I actually liked the blues at first and that was how I learned to sing, but after a while I started feeling funny singing these songs that old black men in Alabama wrote. I mean no matter how hard I tried, I wasn't a hoochie koochie man, and to this day I think Mick Jagger comes off as a total dork when he tries it.
Introduction to Punk
In 1976, a guy named Jackson Weir played some Ramones for me and blew my little mind. I mean I always liked Velvet Underground and Iggy and Captain Beefheart but I didn't connect any of them with the Ramones. My favorite music up until that point was pretty standard except for Beefheart. I always did love Beefheart.
The Honolulu Doggs moved to
After I whacked all my hair off, the Honolulu Doggs freaked out and ultimately broke up. Then I got crazy into drugs for about ten years…
Bands I Was In
Here’s a list of some of the bands I was in during my life and the people I played with. I don’t really remember the timeline though.
THE EAT YOUR DOG BAND / HONOLULU DOGGS
A six piece band with two keyboard players that played everything from Frank Zappa to Dylan to Ohio Players to Beefheart to Muddy Waters to Hendrix to Hank Williams to Iggy to whatever in order to make money. Our original stuff was punky funky shit. My bother was the guitar god who ended up playing with Warren Zevon and plays in LA in a grunge band to this day. All the other guys got married and gave up.
SEIZURE
After The Doggs broke up, I joined the SF band Seizure. Danny Machine on bass, Jackson Weir on guitar. The drummer Brett was in the band because he had a lot of equipment and money cause his brother was in Journey. The horrible secret of our band.
We played the Mabuhay a dozen times or so, LA too. Our most famous gig was when Jackson played with a broken neck on a gurney. I think he’s dead now.
We were in LA to do some gigs and recording when the band kicked me out because I did not want to shave my head. They released their one single “Cuties Wrong Now” without me.
NOISE BOYS
Immediately after Seizure I fled to LA, where I started a band called Noise Boys. Buzzcocks-Ramones–Beefheart-Blue Cheer. A pretty good band that lasted a year or two and had a few cuts come out on a couple of Mystic samplers. Once again time loses all meaning sometime between ‘79 and ‘82.
NOISE GOD
Somewhere between ’82-’84, a couple of guys from one of the Christian death bands asked me to sing for Christian Death. I passed because I felt like (a) Roz was Christian Death (b) I didn't want to be known as the new transvestite, and (c) I liked the word Noise in my band names. So the band became Noise God. The guys from Christian Death were Mike Montano and China. Rik Agnew floated through a couple times but he was in about 4 or 5 bands it seemed and had some problems. Not that I didn't. The band finally gelled - we recorded a really great album and did a small tour with Lords Of The New Church, Stiv Bators’ post Dead Boys band) in San Diego, LA and SF. The Lords' manager really liked us, offered to manage us and take us to
Several days before we were to leave town the bassist and drummer inform me they can't go anywhere as they are strung out on heroin and are fearful that they won't be able to cop in foreign countries. Not only that but they can't play that night without some money or drugs (we had a gig that night with Tex and the Horseheads and the Mentors at Club Lingerie) I got the feeling that they thought they were indispensable because of the Christian Death connection. Personally, I hated Christian Death, and never did like their parties where I was expected to have sex with men. No thank you. I just thought they had cool hair.
I kick the rhythm section out of the band and tell the powers that be that I need a couple of extra days to pull it together. I replace the idiot musicians and have the band ready to go within 48 hours. Then I get a phone call from the record company telling me I don't own any of the songs we recorded (I wrote all the lyrics), that they are owned by some fellow named Ronald Figueroa (now we know why he wanted to call himself China). China had disappeared. The record company cancels the tour. I started crying.
YOUNG & DEAD
Psychedelic hard rockabilly, all original. The bassist named Ron from Blood in the Saddle who used to play on the street with me a lot, drowned. Guitars by Mike Wilcox who said he was in the Vandals I think. Really cool sound Sixties garage punk and rockabilly and a mess.
BOP MARTYRS
JOHNNY BURNETT-GENE VINCENT-ELVIS-CRAMPS-originals and covers only band around doing what we were doing was the Cramps. We also did a little Wilson Pickett and other strange soul music. Then the Stray Cats hit and we stopped. The guitarist took our whole set list and started the Paladins. They were called the Top Cats at first. Pissed me off. I played keyboards and harmonica for them for about a week but got kicked out cause I smoked pot and they drank beer. Quote me: The Paladins stole my set!
EVIL COWS
HOWLING WOLF-MUDDY WATERS-BEEFHEART-CRAMPS: half covers half originals. The Rocking Dudes saw us and changed their names to the Forbidden Pigs and copied us just like a bunch of bands. We opened for the Chili Peppers and the Cramps in
THE COKERS
Alvin and Calvin Coker, two black twin brothers from
SAINT JAMES & THE VOODOO ROCKERS
Good crazy psychedelic blues punk band, half originals and half covers.
THE SAINT JAMES CATASTROPHE
Every kind of music known to man, with punk wrecking it all. We opened up for G. Love, RL Burnsides, Bloodhoung Gang, Tricky, Unwritten Law. We were supposed to open up for Morphine, but then he had the bad luck to die! Got all those cool gigs because Tim Mays is such a good guy! Sometimes it's me and machines, Sometimes it's just me and Skid (Roper). Sometimes it's a bunch of people feeding back. Sometimes it’s samples and a punk rock kid on guitar...or whatever!
August 18, 2005
I recently got an email from some pud named Paul Curran, who apparently took Mike Thorn's place recently as 'zine coordinator for MRR (either that or they added some sort of new position that involves getting on all fours and braying), excerpted below:
Henry,
Golnar and I have decided that we want to discontinue your column in MRR.
We feel that in recent months your column...has shifted toward a variety
of bands and topics that lack cohesion and are often outside the realm of punk.
We want to thank you very much for your years of input into the magazine,
and wish you the best of luck.
Sincerely,
Paul Curran
I replied that I actually wrote about music, whereas "half the columns are post-pubescent musings that belong in their own diaries." However, my retort had too many SAT words to be effective rhetoric, and I was only left with my own navel to ponder.
Curious, I grabbed a recent issue, MRR #266, thumbing through it to see just who this Paul Curran was. Bingo. He used his passport photo as his column logo (to which I thought, hey, if you're gonna use your photo and not go all the way like Mykel Board, ie, flabbily naked and self mocking, then what's the point?). Looked familiar tho I'd never met or talked to the guy.
I skimmed through Curran's column, called The Learning Process. It was probably named after some Tony Robbins 12 step empowerment program that daddy bought him for his 30th birthday after being sick of supporting his lazy white ass. After I read it, I concluded that I had indeed learned something - that I might be dealing with a poseur, maybe even worse.
The blowhard wrote about three topics:
- An editorial about the website myspace.com which had all the depth of a middle school sociology paper ("I don't need a website to remind me who my friends are...")
- The death of his cat and the lovely funeral he and his roomies had for it
- A shameless plug for his own band, their website, their upcoming record, and tour.
So it turned out that Paul himself was one of those glass half full (or should I say "half-assed full of it") columnists who wrote that sort of cheery peace loving unicorn jack off diary material I had only joked about. I couldn't figure out how any of his topics could possibly be considered cohesive, interesting, or even punk. If he was the voice of a generation, it'd be one composed of special ed drop outs. Lastly, plugging his own non-MRR related project for free in a 12,000 copy run zine seemed irresponsible and abusive of his position. You never saw anyone like Tom Hopkins write "Hey I just got my law degree, so if you want to sue anyone's ass please email me". I certainly never posted my want list or tried to peddle any of my trade pile in my column. I don't even think Arnold Schwartzenegger ever wrote "vote for me" or "watch my movies" in the Editor's Note of any of those muscle magazines whose companies he owns. For kicks, I then did a google search on "paul curran poseur", leading me to thousands of hits. Paul had been in Crimpshrine, a loved-among-the-kids Gilman/East Bay punk band circa '90, and therefore a bit of a celeb as far as punk goes. After that, he devolved into total indie shoegazing with the typical girl-singer-bid-for-a-record-signing band,The Delightful Little Nothings. Sheesh. Did Lou Barlow stray so far from the idiom when he leap from Deep Wound to Sebadoh (Gimme indie rock!). I chuckled till the martini with a twist of lime ran outta my nose. Back when I was doing record shit (essentially funding bands and records), like 1990 or so, Kevin Army had actually shopped the first Crimpshrine LP (that he had just produced, later to be known as the Lame Gig Contest) to me! I passed on it. While I had enjoyed their "Sleep What's That" 45, I opted instead to help Mel on his Jawbreaker and Parasites LP's. As far as the Delightful Little Nothings, well they rang a bell (more like a death knell) too because it turns out a good friend o mine had put out their 45 on his all-too-fey and about-as-far-as-you-can-shoegaze Candy Floss label. Heck, I even own a copy, heretofore unlistened to (although curiousity is starting to get the best of me) and squirreled away in some amoeba-probably-won't-gimme-shit-for-these pile. It probably sounded like Velocity Girl with a beveled edge and a faux brit accent. I also found out that Curran was one of those tiresome no-brows who thinks he is a "real" punk just because he's poor (until the trust fund matures anyhow) with some shitty job and feels opressed. And then in his politics-lite, he blames Bush for his plight, rather than what are actually his own personal limitations. Come to think of it, maybe Curran's limitations, like lack of brainpower, can be blamed on Bush. Maybe Bush is his father. May the force be with him. I then decided to read Golnar's column, appropriately titled You Axed For It. I felt like I was reading a script for "Full House". The little princess wrote about three topics: I could see neither the cohesion, interest or punk in her column either (tho I did see enough fodder for a couple of decent sitcom plots out of it). And the same irresponsible abuse of power. I went back and looked at my column that I had just submitted to make sure it was all there. Yes, Shit Dogs. The last time I saw Golnar was at Amoeba Records, where she stood at the used 45 section, flipping through them slowly and looking as if she was trying to memorize the different band names. I could see her lips silently form the words, "Minor Threat....Millions of Dead Cops...Misfits...". She then grabbed some cuddlecore CD, looked around to make sure noone was looking, and made a hasty exit. I read some of the other columns. I noticed Al Quint did an embarrassingly long "think piece" on Creedence Clearwater Revival (John Fogerty, in particular) and even mentioned John Mellencamp. How punk was that? Now I know Al is a old school punk stalwart...but hey! Fortunately, Al hadn't plugged 'his own fanzine Suburban Voice in his MRR column, like Paul and Golnar had shamelessly done with their ther pet projects. I started to piece together all of my research. It started to make some sense. I went off my medication and started obsessing all day and night. In a rare moment of french film blurred, it came to me: